Hardly had my new husband and I descended from our wedding-reception dais, when we were accosted by the elders in the family. A toothless granny blessed that next time she sees me - my arms would be ‘full’ with an ‘apple-like’ baby! That was just the beginning - two years back. Only I know how I had tackled the parents and in-laws, in these several long months - those sighs, grudges, rolling of eyes, tales of cute kids from the park…

Finally, however, the ‘good news’ did happen and apparently, Juhi Chawla, Madhuri Dixit, Kajol, Catherine Zeta Jones and I chose the same year to be in the family way.
Suddenly, women, of all ages and sizes, including total strangers in the train, felt the need to revamp my food habits; feed me with fruits and raw vegetables 24 by 7; frown disapprovingly at my foot wear; protest against my late working hours; give me crash courses on posture and had this inexplicable urge to share their graphic and ‘terrible’ delivery experiences. But I digress. All this is material for another story.

The hot topic of every conversation we have had in the past 9 months is the million dollar question – boy or girl? While we tried to dissuade any sort of  favoritism with a non-committal – “It doesn’t matter – the baby should be healthy, that’s all,” would people leave us alone? They had their own indigenous tricks of trade that would stump the best of gynaecs. Almost everyone had a magic formula to swear by.

Here is a list of the top ten predictions -

At Number Ten, was the clichéd – “If the mother’s stomach is shaped round like a pot it would be a boy, but if the stomach was shaped rectangular and puffy like a pillow, it would be a girl.”
At Nine – “If the mother has a craving for sweets, it would be girl. On the other hand if it was sour foods that her palate preferred - it would be a boy.”
Eight – “If the baby lay in the right side of the stomach it would be a girl and vice versa.”
Seven – “If the mother has back pain, it would be a girl. If the pain favoured the shoulder instead, it would be a boy.”
Six – “If the mother sleeps much in the day it is a boy, else if she is from the nocturnal species it would be a girl.”
Five – “If the position of the mother while getting up in the morning is the same as the position she slept in the night – it would be a boy!”
Four – Men-folk will agree with this one. “If the pains start before the due date, it would be a boy. A girl would take more time to ‘decorate’ herself and get ready for the delivery!”
Three – “If the mother’s face is glowing, shining and bright, it is not Dove. Nah, it is not the fruits - it is a girl. If it is acne and pimple, it is not time for Clearasil. It is a boy.”
Two- The most creative one, from our maidservant stands at the second position. She pointed at a tiny half-done mud insect-nest in our house. She said if the final shape of the nest was round it would be girl. And if it is elongated it would be boy!

And finally, at Number One was my own personal formula which came handy many a time during exams in my student days. If India won the 2003 World Cup, I predicted it would be a boy else it would be a girl!

The only problem with most of these predictions was the border case. I had misgivings when the baby occasionally moved and settled in the middle of the stomach; when I felt like eating both cakes and mango pickle; and when the number of times I got down on the right side of the bed was more or less the same as from the wrong. The clincher was when the pains started on exactly the same day as the deadline given.
However, much to my relief, our cricket team didn’t fail me and soon the doctors announced cinematically – “Congratulations! You have a baby girl!”
     
Hardly had I left the hospital and reached home when we were bombarded by the usual blessings. And the single question – “So far so good. When are you planning for the second one?”

“Wait until the next World Cup”, was my unpredictable answer.

Filed under: Slice of Life